Twelve

So that's how we ended up in the first of three sardine can of a two bedroom trailer.

I looked for a cheap place for us to rent and that was all I found. Short & Squatty didn't have a vehicle at the time, but managed to buy a $500 beater of a Pontiac from someone he knew - in payments. I don't remember how we furnished the hell hole, but I know we didn't buy anything new. Somebody was kind enough to give us a bed and we had the black and white TV from my bedroom back home. I vaguely remember going to garage sales to buy dishes and other household things. We didn't have a washer or dryer so we had to use the laundromat up the road, of course. The place was awful, complete with doors that slid into the walls.

As bad off as we were at the time, I felt like a princess. As 20 years old, I still couldn't believe that I was on my own and had realized my dream. That I was living my life and that it was OK with everybody and that, even if it wasn't, I was in a position to not give a shit. I didn't feel grown up and the whole idea of being out of my parents' house made me feel like I was sneaking out of my bedroom window if I happened to go to the store at night.

We lived in the first sardine can for about six months. After the new wore off, I began to complain to the landlord about the squalor we were living in. I demanded that repairs be made and began to withhold the rent. That got us evicted on my daughter's third birthday. That short spanse wasn't a happy one. It could have been so traumatic for me that I blocked most of it out. I don't have many memories of the place and the ones I do recall aren't good. I remember Short & Squatty started going out all night and leaving me and my daughter at home, stranded with no car. We must have had a phone at some point because I remember finding the phone lines had been cut one night after we got in a fight and he went out again. I also remember having to walk to the store to use the phone, too. I'm not sure why. I don't really remember the events that led up to either of those things. I'm not sure if he had hit me the first time already or if that was at the next sardine can that we moved to. It's all a blur now.